I Need You...

Hello world.

First, i'd like to say, RIP Michael Jackson.




NEXT!


So... this summer, idk? Its coo i guess. Im missing you more and more everyday. We BARELY talk throughout the day. I know i got summer school, but who gives a fuck? Its summer school. You dont talk to me like you used to. Our conversations last for like... 6 texts. Then you dont text back. Sorry if im not interesting. You dont call me throughout the day like you used to. I understand your working and such, but, i just miss you and want you here. Sometimes, your just not there....
I dont mean to like hella complain and shit, but i miss the attention you would give me. That girlfriend attention. Now, its like im not getting that attention. I miss you. It feels like i havent seen you in forever. Feels like i havent talked to you in days. Please dont tell me to get off the phone cause im tired. I DONT care about my sleep. I just wanna talk to you. But you dont understand that...
Its summer vacation and i thought i'd be talking to you like, all the time. I guess thats not true...
It seems to me that we talked way more during the school year. I feel like im going to bore you....
9 months, 2 weeks, 2 days. The best days of my life. I need you in my life. Thats the straight up truth. Dont let go of me. I need you in my life. Especially now in my time of need. My health isnt how it was... Its worse and i just need you here. Sometimes, your just not there....




I really dont mean to complain, i really dont...
I just want things to be the same. Im missing you more and more each and everyday....






I Need You...



-Shingo Anaya [YZ!]

Confused.

Im 18. Im a man now. But, how should i be acting? I dont know how a grown man is supposed to act.
When i think about growing up, i think about ALWAYS being serious and not having fun. Thats one reason why i dont wanna grow up. But im supposed to. I wanna change my mind set and my attitude to become a better person and become a man. But then again, i just wanna have all the childish fun thats irreplacable. Idk? Its confusing for me. What am i supposed to do and how am i supposed to act?



"...with all my heart."
Im not gonna lie, it still hurts. Sure, our conversations went back to normal, but what about YOUR feelings? I mean, i understand we were going through ALOT the past couple of weeks. But... idk? Its really hard to explain.
"Do you love me?"
"I love you like you love me."
Really? Do you? With all your heart? Idk...



I love you. You are my everything. Thats from the deep deep bottom of my heart. Thats the truth. Your the best.





-Shingo Anaya [YZ!]

Catching Up.

YOOOOOOOO! Sup muthafuckas! Its been awhile since ive been on, due to the fact of my internet hella shutting down and shit. Whatevs. Lets do some Catching Up.

Soooo... IM 18! YEEEEEEEEEE! Monday, June 15th. My muthafuckin day! Woke up. Decided to go to Pastors house to go on some adventures. But they couldnt go out. Soo... i just kicked it with Pastor, Ashlar, QJ and LA! Yee! Theyre all hella cool and chill. Buffalo came by later and we went all the way to Tara Hills. He wanted to see someone. Went back to Pastors, then went home. Got ready and my fam took me out to eat at ELEPHANT BAR for my 18th bday. Went back home, slept.

Tuesday, June 16th. Woke up. Went to Pastors again. Hung out with Pastor, Ashlar, QJ and LA. QJ and Ashlar fought. It was quite amazing. Watched movies. Ate chicken nuggets. Yum. Went home, ate, went to karate, got my hip all types of fucked up again. Yeah, yeah.

Now, lets talk about just life in general. So... things with us are pretty much back to normal now... kinda. I know it bothers you and you know what? It bothers me too... Im sorry. Im just glad its not our main topic anymore. The past couple of weeks have been really hectic and frustrating and stressful. I wasnt able to sleep or anything. But, now, we're fine. We cant get over everything, but we're doing our best to stay positive. I love you and you know that. Thats all i gots to say.

So thats pretty much it. Todays my bday dinner with friends. NO DRAMA.






And im out.


-Shingo Anaya [YZ!]

Like The Clouds...

Hallo.

So, things lately have been... ehh.



Lock? Bitch please. No one needs to be put on lock here. Fuck you, hoe. Your just fucking jealous. Its all good tho. You flat face ass bitch.


"...with all my heart..."
Its different. We barely talk through the day. Things arent like they were. I just wanna go back to feeling happy. Making fun of peoples laughs. Singing and all the other good stuff. I still feel the same. What about you? Things are hard. But, im not giving up on you. You'll always be safe with me. Dont let go of me. Keep me safe. I'll protect you from anything and anyone. You can trust me with everything. And ive been doing nothing but making sure of it. I tell you EVERYTHING. I dont hide anything from you and i would never. I love you with all my heart. I love you in a way that NO ONE can understand but us. I just want us to be happy and normal again. Thats it.



What we talked about 2 nights ago... hurt. I couldnt stand it. I cried. I was speechless...



I love you... WITH ALL MY HEART...




Like The Clouds... i can feel things drifting...


-Shingo Anaya [YZ!]

An Early Goodbye?

Struck by lightning.



Not really. Just some horrible news...






A year? Wow. The WHOLE year. Im just gonna warn the people over that if you TRY talking to me... I am totally gonna kill our conversation. You people dont matter to me. When the greatest day of ANY teenagers life comes, im not gonna be happy. It'll be the WORST day of my life. I wont smile. I wont be happy. I just wanna get what i need to get then bounce out, go home, sleep.



Dear friends, im sorry. I fucked up. Always have. I could NEVER make things great for my own good....
Im not gonna tell you guys. You'll find out on your own.






Fuck My Life. I seriously hate what i did to myself. I need to get away.






Maybe this is An Early Goodbye?



-Shingo Anaya [YZ!]